My love is toxic to you

September 8, 2020 § Leave a comment

My love is toxic to you
It makes you angry
It gets you down
It makes you say, ‘I don’t need you’
It drives you to yearn to escape our drudgery

My love is toxic to you
It makes you rage against me
It makes you want to scratch your skin
It makes you want to tear out your hair in clumps
It makes you want to scream till your lungs give in

My love is toxic to you
It makes you dream of independence
It makes you despair for simple companionship
It makes you want to run away
It makes you throw to the winds, all prudence

My love is toxic to you
Cos I failed to be the sustenance for your soul to feed
Cos in my heart is the poison of greed
Though in others’ eyes gentleman is my creed
You know my darkest secret deed
So I failed to be the lover you need

#toxiclove #poetry

 

Oh for a life ordinary

July 23, 2020 § 2 Comments

When anxiety takes me
There’s darkness all around
and seeping through my body
Fear, like lead in my stomach
And guilt weighing down my heart
Every movement is through cold sludge
Every breath a surprise
My heart lurches and from the centre
dread races to the tips of my fingers
This happens in a second, only to be later
relived in brooding hours
Meanwhile the day goes on
And I work, husband and father
Poorly, but try I’d rather
For even in my dark retreat
Life beckons in those familiar faces
So I strive to be brave
To face the fear and bear the guilt
To do nothing more than live a life ordinary

#anxiety #depression #anxietyanddepression

Each day

September 18, 2019 § Leave a comment

Such extraordinary risks we ordinary folks take for our loved ones

In such ordinary ways in our daily lives

We would balk at heroism of legendary tales

Enjoy them in books and movies

But willingly take pills to rid ourselves of desperate depression

Calmly accepting the long term side effects

To just be normal for the sake of our children especially

But also our wives and husbands and parents

Just for one more day each day

Heartbeat

September 15, 2019 § Leave a comment

My heart beats hard sometimes

And I feel dizzy and scared

I think I’ll die

It races too sometimes

And I need to sit or lie down

And breath out slowly through my mouth

My heart beats hard sometimes

And I think I’m alive

Where Am I?

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