Hop, skip and jump

October 14, 2020 § Leave a comment

Acrobatics — that’s what my heart did today. It raced, flipped, skipped, tumbled, murmured and rolled. That’s what anxiety can do to you, especially when you get off a medication after a long time.

Woke up with a panic attack that had my heart going and the rest of the day wasn’t any better because the morning’s episode spooked me a lot today, for whatever reason that my mind can’t fathom.

Had to cover a virtual conference in the first half and an IT company’s earnings in the second. The tension was physically painful today. I get a concentrated pain roughly in the centre of my left pectoral, which always scares me it has something to do with my heart.

In between, had to go to the post office to send a card to my sister-in-law for her wedding anniversary and my fear of catching Covid added to the tension. Then I saw the staff there who were turning up for work to serve people every day and was ashamed of myself. But there was one kind of mail service to overseas destinations which was super expensive. No ordinary post. So it was a wasted trip to the post office.

Did my one-hour mindful walking meditation in the evening which helped me relax enough to go down to the basement to play cricket with my son.

Didn’t feel like cooking for dinner and wife and son agreed on burgers. I ordered one for myself too as a bit of defiance.

#anxiety #depression

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