Good Saturday

October 3, 2020 § Leave a comment

It’s evening and I’m tapping this out on the phone. Just ate two samosas (deep fried spicy Indian savouries) and a Gulaab jamoon (syrupy Indian sweet) and chased them down with a masala chai, at the friends’.

I have finished my story for Monday, so the anxiety level is on the low. First day of week three today after stopping Trinicalm Plus (Trifluoperazine and some other stuff). The craving for it is still bad but other withdrawal symptoms have mostly gone.

Getting out of bed in the morning had become more difficult, after stopping the drug, until I realised it can be managed if I have something to look forward to. Typically it will have to be a story that I have done some good work on, so I can look forward to polishing it up. This way I’m trying to tie the effort to get my work done as well.

Tomorrow I’ll look for another story idea that can be done by say Wednesday. Reading up on what I need to know is slowly improving, with each story.

The depression is debilitating when I get up, but the sooner I get in front of work with my first mug of coffee the better I start feeling.

I’m also handling better the fear that wells up when my heart goes faster after eating. This has come back after stopping the drug, but I intend to handle it with incrementally increasing cardio, and meditation and eating better. Nothing wrong with my heart, doctors have already checked and concluded. As the anxiety that has come back without the drug and which I have to manage on my own goes down over the coming months, hopefully, my heart should settle too.

I managed to get up and out of the bed at 7 am today and put in some work too.

#anxiety #depression #work

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