Another day (that started with a fight)

September 21, 2020 § Leave a comment

It was a tough day, on a scale of good, okay, tough and bad. It’s day three since I completely stopped Trinicalm Plus (Trifluoperazine and some other stuff), which I was taking for anxiety and depression. The withdrawal symptoms are discernable in the form of hightened anxiety about everything. I’ve nothing to do but to ride them out. In a week’s time, I’ll be better.

In the long term, mindfulness and meditation are obviously the better option because they heal the mind and the body. Unlike psychotropic drugs that mess with the brain and the body’s chemistry. The moment I started my figure of eight walking today, I calmed down noticeably. Really felt good to do this walking for half an hour. I couldn’t get up in the morning to do this and, as usual, slept until my son’s first online class’ notification pinged on my phone. But I managed to do the walk before lunch.

Managed to do my usual evening walk as well.

What made the day really tough was it started with my wife getting really, really, upset with me. One moment she was telling me to do more than walking and I was telling her that I know I have to do my strength training too, and the before I knew it, it had escalated into a meltdown on her part. I just don’t know how or why this happened.

In a couple of hours she was almost fine, telling me about news she read that might help me. Is this just how she’s reacting to being stuck at home all the time, or is it that being stuck at home is amping up the resentment about all the things she hates about me. I spent the whole day feeling tense and worried about her.

She says all I do is worry, and that I don’t really do anything about it. I’d carried her nebuliser to our friends’ place this past Saturday when we stayed over with them. It was false concern, she told me, and that if I really cared about her breathing, I would be cleaning the book shelves in the living room, which I never do, she pointed out.

#anxiety #depression #taperingoff #couples #relationships


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