New job? Maybe not … or maybe yes?

August 3, 2020 § Leave a comment

There is a vacancy posted recently that interests me. But I’ve also become afraid of change, even though if there’s one thing the last five months have taught us, it is how drastic change can be and how powerless we can be to resist that change.

I have every qualification for that job and it excites me. On the other hand, I’ve always wanted to finish at least five years in my current job and that milestone is only five months away.

The new job that I’m intested in — such roles don’t open up often, so that’s another consideration. It also means spending less time writing myself, and more time leading a small team of writers, and helping create other content like podcasts and videos. My current job gives me a fair bit of flexibility and time, but I’ve reached as high as I can possibly rise in the organisation, especially because I don’t work at the headquarters, but in a distant bureau.

The new job, if I go after it and if I actually get it, will be a whole new learning experience for the next five years. There will be more money too. It could also, however, mean that my wife will have to take on most of the household chores at least for a while, whereas currently I’m able to help — for example, she makes lunch and dinner is my responsibility. The new job will most likely also require longer and more stressful hours at least until I settle in.

The new job may also mean less time to help with my son’s school work, although he is pretty independent with much of it.

One thing I don’t know is, could the new role and the changes that come with it also be the force that accelerates the progress i’ve been making in getting out of my depression and in coming to grips with my anxiety. Or will the stress of the job get to me and make me more anxious.

And if I apply and get as far as an interview, do I disclose my struggle with anxiety and depression and that I’m on some medication as well, or do I keep that to myself. Isn’t this an ethical dilemna as well. Shouldn’t I be up front about it or will it diminish my prospects.

In the end, if I choose to just continue where I am, I feel I won’t regret it a lot, but I will always wonder how it might have turned out. So what should I do? Go for it, and make a decision only if I get as far as being offered the role, or just focus on the incremental improvements I’ve been making?

#newjob #rolechange #newrole #anxiety

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